The Complete Idiot

So there I was, uninvited

Thinking I was welcome everywhere

Not knowing what they thought about me

I still moved in on them

Freely

That's what they couldn't stand

So there I was clearly

Between bilingual

Eyes shot and bleary

Embarrassed and pregnant

At the same time

Out of line

Our language makes no difference

Is that such a crime?

Comments

Hoverstruck

Hoverstruck Robert took off his face It was time for a lift Poking his eye he observed his flinch shift Sorting through earworms he selected a Mozart If he knew exhaustion, he surmised, this might be it The selection was clear but he couldn't decide Leg up, leg over, empty leg, pull leg He wanted to choose all of the above It was as if that was the only answer Still, he only wanted to answer one question Plants breathed on him He changed his smell valve Sweet seeped into his sweat essence Maybe there is somebody out there As his words parted he knotted his tongue tie Discarding his race arms for wings Robert carefully placed them in future slings You never know when you might need them To blow minds or heads off As he flew away Is there a man, Robert wondered Courageous, benevolent, omnipotent A creator The question pushed all his buttons He put on his game face Music shifted to Screamin Jay There was a meme o...

Tourist

Tourist We'll Ride that train in Norway Cruise the Seine in France Cross that bridge when we come to it Perform a traditional Greek dance Check out lines in Amsterdam Floating across its canals Just like Venice over floods Looking for a second chance We'll Swiss mountain cheesy Austrian boots Nazi Italian sleazy Without giving two hoots Of anyone's party or cahoots For who gives a damn If shopping is involved As female psychology Or spending resolved What may cost more May still cost less Being a tourist Is simply a test Being patient In a male vest To fit a need Of cultural greed Where no one fits in As everyone bleeds So stop and think about it If this is a test Is it a nuclear test? Which begs the question About where we are going If the river is fast Why are we slowing Down? We'll Come to that later Sooner than you think While you're not in the water You still have to drink ...

Idiot

Idiot While raising the bar I think outside the box Placing all my ducks in a row Without putting the cart before the horse Drastic times call for drastic measures There was a method to such madness Speaking of the Devil Whose ethnic cleansing Cut corners From a piece of cake I still couldn't fathom What to make of it So Jumping on bandwagons Your guess is as good as mine While running out of a good time If we wouldn't be caught dead It was all in my head I heard it through the grapevine Since cats have nine lives To make a long story short I let sleeping dogs lie In the face of it As During the heat of the moment Bit by bit Nobody else would give a shit It was a blessing in disguise Not to beat about the bush For what I could surmise The cost was an arm and a leg While jumping to conclusions I still had to beg As if my life depended on all Idiomatic intrusion Language invades Verbal allusion Foolin...

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